Child Custody for Dads - Single Dads

Child Custody for Dads - Single Dads

6 May 2008, 0704 hrs IST,RAKSHITA PANDEY

We've heard all about single moms and how the increasing incidence of divorce in India has put the responsibility of raising a child solely on a women's shoulder. While that may well be true, what about single dads?

Though more often than not, child custody in cases of divorce is granted to the mother, raising a child single handedly is not easy for either parent. "Being a single parent certainly calls for additional responsibility, whether it is a single mom or a single dad. It is important to strike a balance between work and parenthood to be able to fulfill the emotional needs of the child", says psychiatrist, Dr. Samir Parikh.

Despite the challenges, it's a responsibility more and more men are today willing to shoulder. In fact, even adoptions by single men are on the rise and it is indeed heartening to see men ready to take on the role of the nurturer. But the going has been far from easy for these men. Be it Bollywood actor John Abraham wanting to adopt a baby girl to television personality Rajeev Khandelwal; society with its preset notions about parenting has become a stumbling block for these men. There is always a suspicion regarding the motive of men who want to adopt kids.

Why would a bachelor want to assume the responsibilities of raising a child? Dr. Samir Parikh, a psychiatrist says, "Life comes in phases and the emotional needs of a person keep changing. Parental instincts encourage a person to adopt a child and create the desire to be a parent. Adoption is a very positive concept. Parenthood in itself is encouraging and there shouldn’t be any problem because of a person’s gender".

But the notion of a single man adopting a child seems to be totally outlandish to the Indian psyche. So much so that even adoption laws more stringent for men who want to be single parents. According to the Hindu Adoptions and Maintenance Act, 1956, "Any male Hindu who is of sound mind and is not a minor has the capacity to take a son or a daughter in adoption, ‘provided’ that, if he has a wife living, he shall not adopt except with the consent of his wife unless the wife has completely and finally renounced the world or has ceased to be a Hindu or has been declared by a court of competent jurisdiction to be of unsound mind."


In fact, even adoption agencies are reluctant and don’t welcome men who want to be single fathers. Mrs. Kamla Lekhwani, adoption officer at Children of the World, an adoption agency in New Delhi says, "We don’t entertain single men who want to adopt kids. We need to enquire the motive of the person, family support and backing before letting a single man adopt a child. We prefer couples as a child needs both parents, so why deprive him of one? We are however open to the idea of single mothers adopting children as they are more capable of fulfilling the child’s emotional needs."

Does that mean that men are not capable of fulfilling a child’s emotional needs? Or does it mean that men cannot have parental instincts?

It might take some time for the Indian society to accept bachelors adopting kids or seeing men fulfilling the responsibilities of parenthood without a woman in his life. However, the changing role of a man from being a guardian to a friend is assuring enough to believe that a responsible single father can certainly do as good a job of raising his children as much as a single mom.





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